C-C-Catch up

Bearing All

I have searched long enough in my life to know my worth,
but among all the things I have seen and experienced
nothing could have prepared me for you.
Perhaps, at first, I was bluffing because I did not believe
what and who had happened to wander onto my path.
When I felt certain that this was not a cruel joke
I was shocked and stumbled about to gather all of my chips
so I could quickly and proudly push them all in.
But I had never before accomplished this ritual--
I was slow and methodical in my approach.
Too much so, as I did not even notice you walk away.
And when I glanced around with my goofy smile
as I extended my arms forward triumphantly,
I realized to my great horror that I was alone.
Even now, my soul pours out endlessly to you, my dear,
even though you are not here to receive it.
I do not know what else is longer left to be said, other than,
"You are amazing."
And I am unsure how to show you your worth,
(how do you show space that is it limitless?) even though
I know you mean more to me than the sum of all things.
Still, my value endeavors to suffice for yours.
Even now, I bear my beating heart to you, my dear,
even though you may gently crush it so.